PRESS RELEASE

[RAM]

For Immediate Distribution: 1/22/07 : 9:00 AM GMT
A just-released study by the International Veterinarian Society reported a sharp increase in the frequency and size of cat hair balls. Dr. Hung Chow, Society spokesman in Taiwan, stated: "In the past ten years we have received worldwide reports of greater numbers of cats afflicted with larger hair balls. This problem seems to be a result of cats losing greater amounts of hair and earlier in the spring. We can confidently attribute this to global warming. Cats have begun to shed more hair in response to a one degree rise in Earth's average temperature. Cats living in higher latitudes have even greater numbers of hairballs than those living in middle latitudes." He further stated: "We have also been advised of much greater associated worldwide sales of mineral oil. This has certainly placed even greater upward pressure on the price of petroleum." Dr. Chow did state, however, that petroleum pricing influences were not his area of expertise, but that reaming hair balls was.
Al Gore, well known global warming and internet expert, when advised of this study stated: "A gagging cat is no laughing matter!"
Bad Bob, Science Reporting Manager-Free World Press

[Jim Wiegner]

Good morning down there Bob:

After reading your most informative report, and taking special note of the last two sentences, I will just stay here under my log...finning in the current...and NOT take your bait!

Have a pleasant week my friend.

Jim

[john elder]

I think an alternative explanation is that the large hairball cats are products of natural selection. Cats that wretch up furry detritus small enough to go down the heating grates are being sent to play with the coyotes, leaving only the Super-Puke strains of cat in American living rooms.

[Brian F.]

Bad Bob using BAIT