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Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:04 pm 
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Here in the south we have our own brand of folksy expressions. Among them:

When someone here says “He’s got money” They don’t mean three twentys in his billfold. They mean he has enough to burn a wet mule using twentys.

A good one: “He’s so poor he can’t pay attention!”

Another: “I’m so tired I’m left handed!”

One more: He’s so dumb he couldn’t pour p... out of a boot with the directions on the bottom!”

Add any?

Bad (a very old Southerner) Bob


Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:25 pm 
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dagnabbit - an expression of exasperation.

Hold your tater - wait a minute.

Wait a pea pickin' (or cotton pickin') minute - wait a bit.


Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:32 pm 
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RAM wrote:Here in the south we have our own brand of folksy expressions. Among them:

A good one: “He’s so poor he can’t pay attention!”

Bad (a very old Southerner) Bob

I've fit that bill most of my life. :mrgreen:

From the plains farm country:

"You don't know sh.. from Shinola."

"Thinks his sh.. don't stink."

"Like a bull in a china closet."

"The fox is guarding the hen house." ......and

"He's blind in one eye & can't see out of the other!"

As you can see, we utilize positive affirmations out here in the Midlands! :lol:


Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 8:53 pm 
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Location: West Virginia ORCA CHARTER MEMBER c. 1990
My grandfather and then my uncle had a moving & storage company in West Virginia for over 50 years and from about the age of 12, I would help out on weekends and in the summer. The old timers on the crew were true American originals.

The company had some very “stout” country boys working for it who would hail a milk delivery truck in the heat of summer for a glass quart of buttermilk— a tonic to settle the stomach from the previous night’s imbibing.

When you were carrying a couch or a dresser to the moving van and walking backwards, you would be told “gee” and “haw,” which are voice commands for an animal (usually a horse) to turn right or left, respectively. (By the way, the secret to backing up a big rig is to hold the steering wheel underhand at the bottom so the truck goes the way you turn the steering wheel; when you hold the steering wheel at the top when backing, you have to turn the wheel in the opposite direction of where you want the back of the truck to go. Try it next time you rent a big U-Haul.)

If there was a quicker route to a destination, it was because the driver took a “near cut,” not a short cut. When you got paid, you had some “foldin’ money to put in your poke.” If there was any gossip, it would be nipped in the bud with a cautionary “I reckon that ain’t none of my business” admonition. When I asked one of the older guys if he was going to move back to his small hometown when he retired, he said no, because he “didn’t lose nothing there and there ain’t no need to go looking for it,” although when he moved here years earlier he said he felt like “a lost ball in high weeds.” When the economy in our steel mill town was booming after WWII, another told me the “three r’s” he learned in high school were “Readin’, Rightin, and Route 2 to Weirton.”

Those older guys were genuine, hard working and good natured, and I miss them.

Mike N


Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 9:26 pm 
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Location: in a van down by the River
An old friend who is long gone 10 years or so when asked if he could do something like build a bridge would say (Does a Fat Baby Fart) or (Does a hundred pounds of sour dough make a big biscuit ?)
When arguing about which way to do the same operation he would say (Throw the Cow over the Fence some Hay)
Makes you (Happy as a Gopher in Soft Dirt)


Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 6:38 am 
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My wife (born and raised in Key West) introduced me to “graveyard dead” which I would guess is deader than the normal dead! And my personal favorite that I use quite often,
When asked by someone, “how are you today?” I reply, “finer than frogs’ hair.” (Have you ever seen the hair on a frog? That’s pretty fine!)


Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 9:13 am 
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Uncle Joe, after witnessing some less than astute behavior would comment, “ I believe that boy is a few bricks shy of a full load”.

Response to how you feelin’ Might be, “ i’m Feelin’ Like two pounds of spuds in a one pound bag” ( there was a more colorful version of this one :D )

When heading off to answer Nature’s call, it was “goin’ to see a man about a horse”


Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 9:33 am 
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If he had a half a brain, it would be lonesome.
He's got two brains, one's lost the other is looking for it.
Heavy lady. She has to hold her arms out to see if she's walking or rolling.

Not southern, but kind of fit the bill.


Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 12:58 pm 
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"Deader than a doornail" is pretty close darn to "Grave yard dead".

I have, thus far in my life, ran into quite a few people who are "Dumber than a fence post".

I had a few guys work for me that were "Slower than molasses" or as "Worthless as teats on a bore". Needless to say they didn't stay employed very long.

I've also know a few people that were "About as handy as a hog on ice.".........and....

When the freezing rain comes to the plains in Dec. & Jan. it gets "Slicker than snot on a doorknob!"


Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2019 9:29 am 
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The only thing Southern about these sayings is that I heard them in south Trenton, NJ when I was a kid which was a long time ago.

If someone said something that made no sense or was a ridiculous statement - "He talks like a man with a paper arse"

An exclamation of surprise - "Holy jump up and sit down"

"Don't cut your nose off to spite your face"

" It's better to be silent and thought the fool than open your mouth and confirm the suspicion"


Posted: Thu Sep 19, 2019 5:18 pm 
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He's dumber than a box of rocks ! Trying to teach him something is like trying to teach a clam to jump rope :bricks: :bash:


Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2019 7:12 am 
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Haven't had this much fun since the pigs ate my brother.


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