You might live in a redneck town if...

[RAM]

1) Over 25% of your town’s population is in Walmart on Saturday morning
2) Your idea of dining out is eating on the Burger King veranda
3) The going definition of “He’s got money” means he has enough to guy a full case of beer
4) There are more pickup trucks in the church parking lot on Sunday than SUVs.
5) Your town is over 40 miles from the nearest Interstate Hwy.
6) The owner of the town’s hardware store is also the top carburetor repair and tax expert
6b) If you know what a carburetor is.
7) Bubba’s brand new extended cab F-150 is the biggest news of the week.
At least five cars a day are seen going the wrong direction on the roundabout.

Add your own definitions! Bad Bob

[kyreels]

1) You look at Ed Pritchard's collection and think of the catfish you could get with it
2) You think Kentucky Reels are a good square-dance
3) Your grandpappy's lures are safely ensconced in an old lard can in the shed
4) You have lots of bamboo rods around 1 inch thick and are saving them for posterity
5) You are writing this barefoot (check)
6) You have blasting caps in your go-with collection

[Paul Roberts]

True stories (one town). Ah, nostalgia:

-When town gets a traffic light and people come out to watch it.

-When there's a call, the volunteer fire department parades up and down Main St with lights and sirens blasting --3 or 4 times before heading to the trouble. Woo-hoo!

-When your nextdoor neighbor has more than 20 coon hounds.

-When you mow the "lawn" (goldenrod) with an International Super-A.

-When the deer opener is bigger than Christmas. And half the student body doesn't come to school.

-When you get sent home from school bc the skunk odor is too strong.

-When you hide your .22 in a hedgerow before going into school.

-When your buddies shoot at each other with .22's for fun.

-When a neighbor boy has a pile of dead songbirds under his bird feeder that's a foot deep.

-When a neighbor bores a stick of dynamite into his firewood pile. And another neighbor's wood stove blows up one night. That'll teach 'em.

-When a neighbor's Doberman freezes to death in its' dog house one night.

-When your buddy's sister's are in the barn playing with frozen kittens.

-When your high school buddy wins a regents scholarship. At my house my Mom congratulates him. When we get to his house -smack in the center of a cornfield- and I urge him to tell his Mom, he looks uncomfortable. He tells her, she gets a worried look on her face, and says, "Well... I don't know, Mark. I don't see you as a high-class person... do you???"

And on and on...

[Low Profile]

Yeah that pretty much sums up my town with a few extras

The high class restaurant in town is a pizza joint
Your sister is your mother
Corner lots in trailer parks have estate status
Local hair dresser is twitter on steriods
On Saturday nights everyone in town is at the foodstamp 500 at the local circle track
Your the only fly fisherman in town
Top selling items at the local supermarket are keystone light and copenhagen long cut straight
Shakespeare ugly sticks have a cult status
You keep your mouth shut because everyone is related
Highlight of the year is the county fair
You can still find a Leonard fly reel at a garage sale for ten bucks

All in fun

Low Profile

[Paul Roberts]

You can still find a Leonard fly reel at a garage sale for ten bucks

Those days are indeed gone in most places. My mom was an antiques dealer starting back in the 70's. One could make a living going to garage sales then. My green Hardy Princess came from a neighbor's garage around 1979 or 80. He gave it to me for helping him organize that garage. He was surprised when he wanted to pay me, and I told him the Hardy was plenty. It's value to me then, and now, was for fishing with. I was thrilled. Pretty cool hearing that double clicker climb to a high-pitched buzz when a hot steelhead took the fly!

[john elder]

Paraphrase of my favorite Jeff Foxworthy addition:

“You know you live in a redneck town when your neighbor finally mows his lawn and finds a car!”

[Midway Tommy D]

Your next door neighbor Gus just completed his addition


Your other neighbor resided his Man Cave.


And these guys live at the end of the block.

[Paul Roberts]

[Shellbelly]

OK. I wanna play.

When a relative passes, people you never knew show up with food and sentiment.
When you have a relative in the hospital, people you never knew come up to you and asked about them and then the flowers would show up in the room.
Old folks tell you stories you never heard before about your great grandparents.
Old folks tell you they remember when you were just a little boy getting into everything.
Everybody had permission to spank your little behind.
You knew the names of everyone in your neighborhood, waved and spoke kindly to them.
You knew where all the good fruit trees were and who didn't mind if you grabbed a couple.
The city's siren blew once a day at noon. Except Saturday and Sunday.
The gas stations were known by the Owners names, not the brand of gas.
Every kid had a penny or nickel flattened by the Santa Fe train.
You stomped on the pneumatic bell-ringing tube a hundred thousand times at the FULL SERVICE gas stations.
Folks had pecans in their pocket and would crack one open against the side of their pocket knife and offer a half to who they were talking to.
You could smell wild onion when grass was being mowed and magnolia when they bloomed all over town.
You went to the same pediatrician that delivered your mother.
You could play cops and robbers around the jail house and play hide and seek in the court house.
You did not have to lock up your house, car, truck (with long guns in the rack) or your bike.
Yellow light bulbs lit up porches. People sat, rocked, played guitars, cards, dominoes on their porches.
You got a chalk mark on your tire before there were parking meters down town. 4 hour limit, 5 dollar fine.

That ought to do for now.

[arley]

Saturday night dressing up ( for Wal-Mart) is his and hers ( and the baby's) camouflage.