Bad Bob's "Thought for the Week"

RAM · Post by **RAM** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 9:38 am

New series! "Things Men Would Not Have Invented on Their Own"

Shopping malls

Men need five places to shop: 1)A tackle shop 2), a drive-in that sells good barbecue and beer 3), a gas station (if they sell good barbecue and beer this cuts it down to four. Same can be said for the barbecue place. You can likely get gas there too if they serve beans), 4) a hardware store, 5) L.L.Bean for buying formal wear (since you can also get fly fishing tackle there, this could also cut it down to three).

Having been invented, shopping malls are the best magnets in the world for attracting beautiful women, hence I do not espouse doing away with them-especially since there may be a Bass Pro Shop there too and likely a Home Depot nearby. Bad Bob

Ron Mc · Post by **Ron Mc** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:11 am

every fly shop I know of that has survived the internet:
1) is in a tourist town
2) has about 5-10 times the floorspace dedicated to women's clothes as the floorspace decicated to fly tackle.
3) sell really stupid hats that look like a fly pattern quilt for women to buy and embarass their significant others on the water.

RAM · Post by **RAM** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:15 pm

If not for women we might not even have those fly shops. In Nashville one fly shop is a "true" fly shop that makes most of its money guiding (women as much as men). One does more business as a bicycle shop and camping goods store than selling fly stuff, one sells high end hunting guns with fly tackle as a side, and the other is a fly shop in Bass Pro. All have clothes, waders, etc. for chics. The more women who fly fish the more voices for river conservation and more fly shops that stay in business. They sure look better on a stream than those pics of Ron in shorts! Have mercy! Bad Bob

Steve · Post by **Steve** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:53 pm

What, if anything, is new?

Ron Mc · Post by **Ron Mc** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 7:14 pm

ok, maybe you can talk them into selling long-legged nylon fishing pants.

But the closest fly shop to my house used to be a huge front room of fly tackle, and a smaller back room of fly tying.

then they went to a huge front room of women's clothing, one showcase of reels in the front room, rods and fly tying in the back room.

Now they eliminated all fly tying materials, with all tackle in one half of the small back room and kayaks on the other half. Women's clothing commands 3/4ths of the store floorspace.

I'll see your jewelry and raise you single-malt

Steve · Post by **Steve** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:13 am

Isn't single-malt one of them thar fishing requisites?

Post by **john elder** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 6:49 am

Dju ever have to stand and wait,
While your gurlz got done with Shopping?
You walk and walk and walk the mall,
To find a place worth stopping.

You shun free phones,
You check Brookstone's
For the latest massaging chair,
but face it boyz,
Our only toyz,
Are down in Sears' Hardware!

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:54 am

Steve, I am familiar with most of the wares Mr. Goff is carrying, but what are "Yankee notions". Tyler

Ron Mc · Post by **Ron Mc** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:54 am

Steve wrote:Isn't single-malt one of them thar fishing requisites?

indubidibly

Steve · Post by **Steve** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:27 am

what are "Yankee notions"

Tyler, according to Karl Rove and his minions, "Yankee notions" refers to a pro-terrorist mindset. This week, it could refer to Steinbrenner's latest managerial considerations. In 1869, it may have referred to non-cotton thread or to sewing supplies that could not be used on anything containing cotton. But your guess is as good as mine. I'm still working on "Sale Stable."

RAM · Post by **RAM** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:30 am

A note to John Elder-Nice verses, but the answer to your dilemma is simple. Just sit down and enjoy the scenery! Bad Bob

PS-Check page 26 of the Supreme book guys. E.A. was onto something. Good excuse to buy a copy if you haven't done so.

Ron Mc · Post by **Ron Mc** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:49 am

1958 Allcocks Anglers Guide

I think Graham Chapman wrote the caption

Harvey · Post by **Harvey** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:51 am

For some reason we have strayed from the original subject.
1) ironing boards
2) lipstick
3) road maps
4) high heel shoes
5) divorce lawyers
6) joint checking accounts

etc., etc.,etc.!

I must admit that growing up, a common admission was that women went window shopping. That is looking with no intent to buy. Now at my age, shopping malls are more for widow shopping even though I don't expect to buy one. Things haven changed much. but like someone else suggested, I can set in the same place all day and limit my walking.

Ron Mc · Post by **Ron Mc** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:58 am

tell me that Bad Bob's Thought for the Week is not rambling.

RAM · Post by **RAM** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 2:25 pm

I realized late in life that I was born to be an iconoclast. These inane posts of mine should generally bear that out. Also, I will never be accused of being "politically correct". And another important lesson I learned late in life (but suspected for many years before). Women are superior to men in almost evey way. They can't play linebacker but they can make a blathering fool of one. They also become superlative fly casters. Superlative casters generally catch more fish. See what I mean?
Checked most of the spelling Steve. Linebacker is one word isn't it? Bad Bob

PS- I started out with the premise that men would not likely have invented shopping malls on their own. So far no outright votes either way.

Steve · Post by **Steve** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 3:42 pm

Linebacker is one word isn't it? Bad Bob

Depends on whether you're talking about fly fishing or football. The aforementioned rambling makes it hard to tell.

Bronco · Post by **Bronco** » Wed Oct 11, 2006 12:44 pm

NEW BANK ATM PROCEDURE

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-Through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles".

Customers using this new facility are requested to follow the procedures outlined below.

After months of careful research, separate MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

********************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cellphone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to reach machine to insert card.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find address book with PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Take a quick peek at yourself in rear view mirrow.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward five feet.
20. Reverse and back up to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty handbag to locate card holder and replace card.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart engine and drive off.
25. Redial person on cellphone.
26. Drive for several blocks.
27. Release parking brake.

RAM · Post by **RAM** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:26 am

Bronco-All a moot point. All women do is say "Honey, I need $20.00. I'm getting it out of your billfold. See you later". Bad Bob

PS-What is an ATM? Who needs cash?

Post by **john elder** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:00 am

Have you guyz lost ALL survival instinct?!

Ron Mc · Post by **Ron Mc** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:24 am

I regained mine when I realized the right pair of gray pumps was the moral equivalent of a 32" redfish.

RAM · Post by **RAM** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:47 am

At my age survival is also a moot point. All I hope for is another season of wading capability. In our creeks that is not a guarantee for me. Once I can't wade its all over.
Money has only two values: fishing stuff and...forgot number two. Wife can have the rest. Accounts are in our name jointly and her name. None in my name. If I sell enough books I might be able to pick up another reel!
Bad Bob

SWIM JIG · Post by **SWIM JIG** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:04 am

jump jump usa , Money ? whats is it>? BAD BOB, you said your from the 3 States Of TENN.? heck we always traded 3 turnips for salt and some spirits, 5 fish for a good rod and reel, a acre of land off the top side for a new pick um up truck, motor and tank of DRIP GAS was another 1/4 acre! Once I saw some strange paper with a picture of Andrew Jackson on it and I put it on the wall in a frame, Found a funny looking metal round thing that had 50cents printed on it and Our GOOd OLD confederate Flag on it, I drilled a hole in each end, tied a hook on one end and my line from my pole and reel to the other end, dogone thing still catches a lot of fish! Dad used to take those funny looking paper things and make patches for our boots! Ahh Life is very good in EAST TENN. on the Clinch River! Your transplanted now Ohio Conection , Col. Milton Lorens aka SWIM JIG GOOd DAY SIR!

m3040c · Post by **m3040c** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 8:57 am

Men are basically happy with what they have.

Men would not have invented "the WHEEL"...

If it wasn't for a really pushy prehistoric wife way back when, we would be fishing with square reels.

Tyler · Post by **Tyler** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 9:46 am

A woman is like a split bamboo rod, when you have your hands around the right one the feel is incredible. Signed, Pinky Gillum

I disagree, a woman is like a reel click, always making noise to let you know you're screwing up. Signed, Frederick K. Malleson

Quite the opposite, a woman is like a rainbow trout, if you get a rise out of them all hell breaks loose. Signed, Thad Norris

A man is like a fly tying bobbin, only good for one thing. Signed, Mary Orvis

Steve · Post by **Steve** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 4:32 pm

Vy don't ve get our minds out von die gutter und go bilden Sie ein gutter fischen reel? It's vat real manner vould do. Signed, Julius Vom Hofe

Bad Bob's "Thought for the Week"

Bad Bob's "Thought for the Week"

Shopping Malls

Along this same line...

MONEY? WHATS THAT???

things men would not have invented on their own