Help Al, the "Apocalypse Man"- A Mini Essay by Bad

[RAM]

The future auto will be fuel cell powered according to Al. That is decreed. Only problem is: Where will all that hydrogen come from? Only two viable sources for needed quantities are water and methane. But how do you disassociate the hydrogen? Takes more energy than you are going to get, but that's no matter-you can't break the Law of Conservation of Matter and Energy anyhow. The energy you create by burning hydrogen only creates water so no greenhouse gasses. But getting the hydrogen free so you can burn it is another matter. (Keep in mind that methane will be produced by those evil oil and gas companies, so that presents a moral delimma as well for Exxon haters).
Two sources of that needed energy are from burning hydrocarbons or burning coal. Neither acceptable They both send that deadly carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. We could use nuclear power but what will we do with all that nuclear waste if we ever get the licenses to build them? And there could always be (heaven help us) an accident! Or we could create gigantic solar panel fields, but to make that much hydrogen you will have to cover most of the Sahara Desert with solar panels. Then we could put tens (No! HUNDREDS) of thousands of wind mills on the prairire and on all hill tops throughout the countryside.
What, oh what are we to do? ORCANs are far above average in intelligence. Surely you can help Al solve this dilemma!
Help Bad Bob help old Al-We need a brilliant new concept for power generation to produce free hydrogen to make our cars run! Otherwise in a few years we will have to ride an electric public bus to the ole fishin' hole (reservations required, of course). Now is your chance to become famous and to save mankind and still be allowed to drive somewhere to fish in the future! Think!

[Jack Bright]

Have a "Throw Ugly Al Gore" contest.

[Teal]

There is enough wind in North Dakota alone to power the needs of the nation as a whole. The problem? Infrastructure. WHo's going to underwrite the trillions of dollars necessary to rebuild the power grid in the country? No company, or conglomerate, would take it one knowing they wouldn't be able to pay off the capital investment for five decades or more, by which time there will (hopefully) be an alternative energy source.

My suggestion? Wait for aliens to land and share their technology for turning sand into energy. Or listen to Al. Both seem to take the same leap of faith.

--Dr. Todd in the Northwoods

[RAM]

There is an article in this morning's Nashville Tennessean about ski lodges going into panic mode over global warming keeping it from snowing (it was snowing in Colorado day before yesterday incidentally) and "setting an example" by buying "swap units" of "green power" like Al does. I bet if you go to any ski lodge in the U.S. and check the parking lot it will be 80% SUVs, most big a--ed SUVs! In fact, I bet the ski lodge operators also drive big SUVs or big pickups. Its all about money. Trust me.
Bad (Don't trust anyone who says "trust me") Bob

[Ron Mc]

aw, give Al a break. He single-handedly sewed up the Ozone Hole, and still had time to explain windows to Bill Gates, right after he dictated Love Story, of course.